This girl’s experience is a pretty great refutation of “won’t somebody think of the children!”-type moral panic. Actually, seems like the kids will be fine, provided adults don’t poison them with their own hateful ideas.
There are activists working to depathologize pathologization. And that’s how I see it: if our bodies are disordered in some way, they may need medical care, but they don’t need medicalization. I want medical care that seeks to make me happy, not to make me normal.
from Thea Hillman’s “Condition” in Intersex (for lack of a better word)
So…I just want to do a run-through of the “cis people have every right to demand that trans* people answer personal questions or otherwise they’re all rude and why should I accept you strange, weird people if you’re not nice to me!!!” shit on my dash:
Question: How am I supposed to understand trans* people/the trans* community if you won’t explain it to me?
Answer: Can I let you in on a secret? There is nothing that I can tell you about being trans* and/or non-binary, other than personal information, that is not already available on the internet. That you couldn’t find after searching a bit (or, as I Google it myself, not even that big of a bit). It’s shocking, I know, but the information is out there and available. Added to this, it is not the job of trans* people to educate you. Contrary to popular belief, simply being trans* does not automatically mean that we exist solely for the purpose of being your personal encyclopedias. Question: Why are you so rude when I ask you questions?
Answer: Probably because a lot of us are kinda fucking tired of being demanded to answer questions—questions that involve our personal lives, that are about information that you have no right to ask about, and questions that you could easily find the answer to with a two-minute google search. Probably because we’re kinda damn tired of people accusing us of being the scum of the earth for not answering their questions. Probably because we’re tired of people saying that our not wanting to answer these questions and us getting upset when asked highly personal question is the reason why cis people refuse to accept us. Question: But there are trans* people who are answering me, so why can’t you?
Answer: I think that this logic is applied to just about every minority/marginalized group—one person is okay with something, so all of them should be okay with it, right? Fun fact: not all trans* people are the same. There are some who are totally willing to answer your questions and there are some that aren’t. The fact that the former exists does not mean that the latter are in the wrong or that they’re worse people than those that will answer questions. Just because some trans* people are willing to tell you about every single detail of their identity doesn’t mean that all of us are. Added to that, I never really understood this argument: if you know trans* people who are willing to answer your questions, why are you so hung up on demanding answers from those who have already made it clear that they want you to fuck off?
TL;DR We don’t exist to educate you.
The fact that there are some trans* people out there that are willing to answer your questions does not negate that.
Pulling out every slur in the book, along with the “I just want to understand the freaks!” crap after someone refuses to answer your questions doesn’t help your case.
This is a poem from Brave New Voices, a national spoken word competition for high school students. It’s called “Hir” and it made me cry. As you can infer from the title, it’s about being trans*. You should watch it. I know you’re likely going to scroll past it, but this is something that’s really worth watching.