Soffa Support

does this blog still operate?

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 21:51:31 -0500

Only kind of. Life has gotten the better of me, and I keep hoping I can get a hold of things soon to get back to SOFFA-supporting.

I am a straight cisgirl dating a trans guy, and he is my first. So far everything has been really great, but it has now gotten past casually dating and into serious dating and he is feeling a little worried about whether I will ever start to miss cis men or their parts. While I am not the first straight girl he's dated, I am the first straight girl he's dated seriously since he transitioned. Do you have any advice for how to be comforting and reassuring? Does this type of insecurity ever go away

Sun, 06 May 2012 10:54:04 -0500

My advice is to just keep telling him that you won’t miss cismen and their parts. Most transmen prefer for male descriptors to be used to described to their bodies—recognizing that you see him as male may help alleviate that stress.

I can’t say that it will ever go away. It might when he feels comfortable in his body and with your relationship, but it may always be present. My boyfriend likens this feeling to the feeling some women have about their weight. Some women will always have a fear that their men will leave them for someone skinnier no matter how many times her partner says she’s beautiful. Others feel more secure as the relationship progresses.

I wish the two of you the best of luck. These issues can be serious, but I think the both of you can work together to make it better.

Randi and Shellie, “We’re from Peoria, AZ”: Spouse Changes...

Thu, 03 May 2012 06:02:39 -0500

Randi and Shellie, “We’re from Peoria, AZ”: Spouse Changes Gender, Couple Stays Married

A true testament of commitment, a married couple stays together after the husband transitions to a woman.

Share your story with us!

(via imfromdriftwood.tumblr.com)

QBits: GOP Lawmaker Comes Out As Gay Then Comes Out Against Don’t Say Gay Bill

Wed, 02 May 2012 18:02:19 -0500

QBits: GOP Lawmaker Comes Out As Gay Then Comes Out Against Don’t Say Gay Bill:

The title has it wrong—He spoke out against the bill, then came out as gay. But I think this is powerful stuff here. Just remember to not judge someone by their party, but by their actions.

qbits:

by David Badash onMay 2, 2012

Saying, “being gay has never been a Republican or Democrat issue,” Zach Wyatt, a Christian Republican state representative in Missouri, this morning came out against his state’s proposed “Don’t Say Gay” bill — then came out as gay himself….

transcending-anatomy: Poem: How to tell a trans person they are...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 06:00:05 -0600

transcending-anatomy:

Poem: How to tell a trans person they are beautiful

from PapayaKaia; transcript here

[contains discussion of dysphoria, transphobia, and cissexism]

Hi there. A friend of mine recently came out as trans, but they said that they don't plan on living as a guy until they go to college. Should I start referring to them with male pronouns and their guy name now, or just continue calling them their girl name and female pronouns until they leave? Thanks, and this is a great blog!

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:34:46 -0600

This isn’t something I can answer. Ask your friend what zie would prefer. If zie prefers you to wait or to only do it in private, then respect your friend’s wishes. It might be a rocky transition for the both of you, getting used to that, but in the end, it’s your friend’s choice.

Video

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:32:11 -0600

artoftransliness: “Someone I Love is Trans*” shirts now...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 20:23:23 -0600

artoftransliness:

“Someone I Love is Trans*” shirts now available for pre-order at Legalize Trans*!

I DO love someone who is trans*…

BLITZ Stickers!

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:02:05 -0600

YAY! WE ordered sweet Stickers today! right now we have 49 followers! I’ll send out stickers to our 50th follower! Along with anyone who submits new resources to the blog!

***The purpose of our blog is to create an open resource and personal interaction for the Trans* community. There fore we ask that you include contact info in your submissions, so our users can speak with you first hand about your personal posts to our site.***

Some things we’re looking for

Trans* person of the month - (Tell us your story, accomplishments, goals/include photos etc.)
Artist of the month - We will promote an artist for the month, displaying art, writing, photography (Please include 5-10 pieces of work/bio/website ect.)
Artists - One piece of work, a link to you or your work and contact info for our directory
Resource links for any of our categories
Natural Transition Stories
Surgery Before and After photos

The more followers the more Merchandise and Giveaways i can do! Thanks for following and your support <3 BLITZ

Art of Transliness: Happy Valentines Day

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 06:00:05 -0600

Art of Transliness: Happy Valentines Day:

artoftransliness:

Valentines Day may be one of the most hated holidays of the year, but hopefully everybody has been able to make the best of today. We at Art of Transliness are still taking submissions for the theme (trans* guys with their supporters), and here’s an example from Zak:

My girlfriend Kelly and I…

I'm A PFLAG Mom: Fight for Equality

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:36:00 -0600

I'm A PFLAG Mom: Fight for Equality:

knowhomo:

Alright everyone,

If you are not familiar with PFLAG Mom on Tumblr, I highly recommend you check out her blog. She is a phenomenal ally voice and a great person for insight outside of the teen/twenty-something bubble.

If you have a Facebook account and feel inclined, please “like” her post and picture. You can find a copy of the picture below (the same picture is posted on the Fight for Equality page).

Keep On Supporting Allies!

-R.

pflagmom:

Fight for Equality - on Facebook is having a contest where you post a picture and explain what equality means to you. This is mine.

WHAT EQUALITY MEANS TO ME: this is a photo of my family. I can’t accept anything less than full equality for my cisgender daughter and my transgender son. That they both will be EQUALLY protected by law in the workplace, in their marriages,parenting, in ALL WAYS. My son’s girlfriend should never fear her employers finding out that her partner is trans. This should never affect their ability to find housing, insurance, property ownership, in the parenting of their future children. Those are my grandchildren from my daughter. Their future cousins must have the same rights as they enjoy. Equality to me is that the two children to whom I gave birth will be afforded EQUALITY- nothing more, and NOTHING LESS.

Hey… you all should go vote on the pic of me, half of art of transliness, and more of pflagmom’s family.

When A Cis Woman Dates A Trans Man

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:36:44 -0600

When A Cis Woman Dates A Trans Man

genderqueer: unfriendlyatheist: Gender neutral...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 06:00:06 -0600

genderqueer:

unfriendlyatheist:

Gender neutral pronouns, because it’s not always absolutely crucial to existence to continuously refer to one’s assigned gender or genitalia configuration.

I just started a Tumblr called the Trans*ition Fund Collective....

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:12:41 -0600

I just started a Tumblr called the Trans*ition Fund Collective. It’s made to highlight the projects of trans* individuals fundraising for their transition while sharing some awesome trans*-friendly products and resources. Submissions are always welcome! Please reblog and spread the word?

i'm a straight male interested in someone who is ftm. is this a no-go? how can i avoid offending him?

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:55:21 -0600

Are you interested in him because he is female-bodied? That’s quite offensive and is more than likely a no-go. However, if you are genuinely interested in him as a person or are thinking it might be good to explore your sexuality, then this is more doable. Explain to him that you are straight, but are interested in him as a male, not as a female. Who knows you might decide that he is a perfect partner and you aren’t as straight as you thought!

Advice for a soffa looking to help out with surgery recovery? I feel lost but I want to be there all that I can.

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:51:04 -0600

For me, it was a lot of patience and helping do things like putting on xeroform and showering. Also, food runs. Motion is fairly limited after surgery, so straws are highly recommended.

Keeping your partner entertained is going to be a huge struggle. They won’t be able to do much on their own for a little while—-even when they think they can, if he doesn’t want to stretch his scars, he needs to limit motion. Zak wished he would have packed more DVDs because the internet connection at the hotel was really slow.

You should also be aware that many transmen experience post-surgery depression. Coming off anesthesia can affect mood, as well as the anticipation of surgery being so great that the actual event is a let down. It isn’t a quick fix for disphoria, and many hope that it will be.

Here’s an article Art of Transliness posted for transmen for preparation of top surgery.

Good luck to you and your partner!

my close friend of 5 years and boyfriend of 1 month recently disclosed to me that he was born female and transitioned when he was 11 (he's 21 now). however, the terminology he used was odd: he never said "trans-" anything (though he transitioned from female to male), and told me that he sees it as a private medical problem. have you ever heard of this? where can i find resources or information? i'm kind of reeling right now. thank you.

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:36:50 -0600

Yes, this is not uncommon. Many people who transition young (but not limited to those who do) feel this way. Regularguy93 speaks regularly about this. You should check him out.

As for resources or information, I don’t really know of any specific to those who transitioned and don’t identify as trans*, although I feel as though much of the advice I would offer any soffa would hold up. Talk to him about it, read some books about trans* issues, etc. Best of luck.

Followers: Any other advice for this anon?

"The word “transgender” is an adjective, and a descriptive word; not a noun or a verb. Just as you..."

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:00:06 -0600

“The word “transgender” is an adjective, and a descriptive word; not a noun or a verb. Just as you wouldn’t call an older person “an old” or say they are “olded”, it is inappropriate to refer to a transgender person as “a transgender” without adding “person”, “woman”, “man”, or any other appropriate noun.”

- How to Respect a Transgender Person (via kristt)

genderqueer: iragray: freekygeekyproductions: MUSIC VIDEO...

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 06:00:05 -0600

genderqueer:

iragray:

freekygeekyproductions:

MUSIC VIDEO featuring Kaia, a transsexual dancer wrestling with questions of transgender embodiment.

(There is no attempt to infringe upon copyright laws. Music credit is Janelle Monae’s “Cold War.” This video was not created for monetary gain of any kind.)

This is truly amazing. The dancing, photography and music are each excellent on their own, and resulting combination is a masterpiece.

I don't know if this has been asked before. My partner would prefer it if i could introduce him to my family as trans--however, I have no idea how to explain it without them thinking I'm in a lesbian relationship. I would prefer to not introduce him as trans, but we're both concerned about passing

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:06:43 -0600

This is a problem I struggled with when I introduced my partner to my mom. I chose not to tell her, and then eventually it did come out. My mother was hurt that I chose not to tell her immediately, but also insinuated that I was in a lesbian relationship. I quickly (and probably a little more rudely than I should have) corrected her and said that he was completely male. So, in my experience, while it’s a little more awkward and uncomfortable, it’s better to be upfront about your partner’s status. This would be a good opportunity for you to explain that your partner isn’t female, that you are in a straight relationship, and that it would be disrespectful for them to say otherwise. You might have to field some questions, but it it might be better for you both in the long run (especially if he’s not passing well) to come out. However, I don’t know your family, and I don’t know you two. It might be easier for you to not do it immediately. I regret not doing it immediately.

Best of luck to you both. <3